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It started somewhere around the early September, 2011 when I realized I do not love the game anymore. Overnight, my attitude and behavior toward the game dwindled down as I no longer feel motivated enough to do anything much. Even my love for alchemy has reduced to a dormancy state that it always require a lot of effort and will to finish concocting one item.
I subtly hinted to my guild mate and a few acquaintances of my impending resignation from the game. Truth to be told, it wasn't my first time to voice out such thought. My last 3 years of tenure had seen me getting restless, disillusion or simply out of sheer boredom.
I was too busy building up my roster of characters that socializing was out of the question. However, the mundane task of setting up teams for training, clearing their invo every now and then, the needs to cope with the lag became too taxing for a girl like me who have about 5 teams to date.
The usual cliche I heard, "you worked so hard for your characters, why give up now?" "Please don't quit :( " "Who will continue training your characters?" "You already spent money in the game, what a waste..." "Can you give me all your accounts?" "Can I have your riding pets?"
"You worked so hard for your characters, why give up now?"
I am hanging by a thin thread trying to stay on the game. I felt the need to finish my water priest to its maxed level. It was one unfinished task that I feel compelled to do. Somehow, there was a feeling of surrealism seeing my characters moving like an automaton. My characters are online and training but my presence isn't.
There will not be a perfect time to give up on the game. Sooner or later, everyone will leave. WLO won't give us any brighter future hence the need to move on. This is by far the longest solstice I ever experienced. Withdrawing from the usual things I do inside the game and although, I tried to slow down and take my 10 deep breathes, but it doesn't bring back the excitement once I felt for the game.
"Please don't quit :( "
I lost count on how many times I heard of this phrase. It was a common norm we usually supplied when someone expressed their desire to quit the game. And I listened...and I hang on...and before I know it, they were the one who leave the game.
A perfect example is my guild. It is almost as cold as a grave that I am surprised the guild chat hadn't gone haywire. Somehow, it pushed me all the more closer on the brink of making my gracious exit from the game.
"You already spent money in the game, what a waste..."
I also waste money in real life, so what difference does it make? I had a character in another gaming platform and spent money on her too. Yet, I left her 3 levels short of taking the 4rth job advancement.
We throw money on a game and knows that we can't retrieved them back anymore. Nothing last forever really. I simply went by the spur-of-the-moment feel of spending money or the need to buy some items because the game mall went on sale and its 80% discount was too delicious to pass on. I still wish they will come up with a 100% discount though (lol!).
"Can you give me all your accounts?"
A stranger crept up on me and says if I can threw all my accounts on his lap. I wish I had the wisdom to tell him "over my dead body." Once I quit the game, my characters will remain my sole property. I didn't waste my 3 years working on them and only to push them to others.
Despite my seemingly lack of motivation with the game, I still love my characters. It was like meeting them as a stranger and eventually you saw them slowly growing up, becoming stronger and in the end, they had evolved into the kind of personality you wish them to be.
Sometimes, I kept thinking how a player will just allow anyone to handle their accounts. How they can easily give up on their characters and pass them along to others. I don't know but I hope it is not just me. Even though they are only some form of virtual things, I feel protective of them.
"Can I have your riding pets?"
Of course notttttt. I already lost a level 128 eagle (Mocha (x_x;)) and a level 123 crane (Wings (T.T)), how would I even think about ridding off my other pets as well. Besides, it took me a gazillion years to train my pets and I wasn't through them all yet.
IGG couldn't save my pet from flying despite having 100 amity. They refused to spare their time to check on the reason of their sudden demise. I was so upset that I guess, it was one turning point in which I lost all my motivation completely. I do not want to see any more of my pet flying out like that....seriously.
All that has been said, I'm still 100% training actively. My 0% motivation, 1% online, 99% quit, 98% AFK (saves 2% for chatting :D) and 100% boredom makes for a perfect equation to leave the game. When will be my official leave, I don't know. Till then, enjoy :)